How do you follow up 16-0? With a big-ass pork tenderloin, of course.

A long, long time ago, I promised that, in lieu of starting B1G 2026—The Last One Ever?(!)—until, give or take, the Fourth of July, we would be doing drop-in updates on the various teams of the Big Ten: any big transfers, important news, or anything else.

But to sweeten—or savory—the pot, I also promised A Horseshoe in Every Pot!

So step on up to the counter, because I’m serving up some state, school, or city-specific horseshoes guaranteed** to make you vomit cringe salivate.

The Candystriped Horseshoe

Look—if you want a good, old-fashioned, standard Illinois horseshoe? I’m not gonna stop you. In fact, I’m gonna invite myself along for one of my own. But, in the meantime, we’re going to go for a little bit of a theme here, maybe try and make it one of these days, see how it feels.

• Bread: Wonder Bread, two slices

• Meat: Pork tenderloin (doesn’t matter where from), pounded flat

• Starch: Fries—with a little bit of Cajun on ‘em if you need some excitement in your life

• Sauce: Striped ketchup and mayonnaise

Simple, no-nonsense. Garnish it with pickles and/or a national championship trophy.

I guess there IS a question to be asked here of whether you’d stripe the tenderloin the long way (pants-style) or the short way, but I don’t care enough to weigh in.

Would you eat this? Savor it for just a moment as you catch up with the Hoosiers’ offseason:

What’s new? Indiana Edition

Spring Game?

Sure was! Crimson (offense) 26, Cream (defense) 16.

Reportedly—by Inside the Hall—the Hoosiers’ offensive line looked “thin” while transfer QB Josh Hoover acclimated, and the defense still looks tough.

Coaching changes?

QB coach and co-OC Tino Sunseri is back after dabbling in Westwood for a year, replacing Chandler Whitmer, who’s off to coach Baker Mayfield in Tampa. The Hoosiers also extended DC Bryant Haines and OC Mike Shanahan on three-year deals making them two of the highest-paid coordinators in college football.

Big transfers to know?

TCU quarterback Josh Hoover gets the headlines, but EDGE Tobi Osunsanmi (K-State), G Joe Brunner (wisconsin), WR Nick Marsh (Michigan State), and RB Turbo Richard (Boston College) are worth an eye. Cignetti worked the portal yet again.

Have they done anything dumb and/or embarrassing?

What is this, an Indiana basketball article? Of course not.

The 2026 Schedule, Graphically

I had forgotten Northwestern has to play there this year, and now I’m sad all over again.

Would you eat the Candystripe Horseshoe? Should I have made it more of a sweet tooth-type, rather than a bland-but-savory?